Your kid used ChatGPT for their essay. Before you panic, ask a different question
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Not "should they use AI?", but "do they know which mode they're in?" Learning, collaboration, or delegation. The difference is everything.
Your 12-year-old has a history essay due on the Roman Empire. You walk past their room and glance at their screen. ChatGPT is open.
Your first thought: Are they cheating?
Your second thought: Should I stop them?
Here's the thing: you're asking the wrong question.
It's not "should they use AI?" It's: "Do they know which mode they're in?"
Because if your kid asked ChatGPT "Write me a 500-word essay on the fall of Rome" and submitted it, that's one thing.
But if your kid asked ChatGPT "What were the main causes of Rome's fall?", read the explanation, disagreed with some points, asked follow-ups, drafted their own essay, then asked "Does my argument make sense? Where are the weak spots?"—that's something completely different.
Same tool. Completely different outcome.
And here's what most parents (and most kids) don't realize: we're all figuring this out in real time.
You're not alone. OpenAI just released data showing that 10.2% of ChatGPT usage is tutoring and teaching, 8.5% is how-to advice, and 21.3% is seeking information. Adults and kids. We're all students again.
But the biggest category? Practical Guidance: 28.3% of all usage. People asking "how do I handle this?" or "what should I do about that?"
Add it all up and you're looking at nearly 68% of ChatGPT usage being people trying to figure something out.
Here's what the data doesn't show: we have incredible capability, but zero literacy about when to use it.
Because "Practical Guidance" could mean anything. "Help me with this problem" could mean "teach me how to think about this" (Learning), "let's figure this out together" (Collaboration), or "just solve it for me" (Delegation). Same request. Three totally different modes. And most people don't realize they have a choice.
The Real Tension
The problem isn't that people are using AI to learn. The problem is that most of us, kids and adults, don't actually know what we're doing when we open that chat window.
Are we trying to:
- Learn something we don't understand?
- Collaborate with AI as a thinking partner?
- Delegate a task we already know how to do?
All three are valid. But they require completely different approaches. And most people don't know which mode they're in, or which mode they should be in.